For the first time in a long time I had a moment. A moment of anger. A moment I didn't want to. I wished for a moment that I did not know about the cancer, but then what? I wouldn't know how to make the best of each day like I do now.
Still, I get annoyed at all the little things that have come with this journey. Blood pressure meds, anxiety meds, shots for blood clots... not how I thought life would be in my 30's, but it is not my plan; it's His. I have to keep trusting He has this. I know I will make it. It just gets hard when you let your mind get the best of you, and that happens sometimes because we are human.
I am glad that when the negative emotions and thoughts rage in my mind it is only for a moment, then I get over and and go back to my happy self. I had to go to the doctor today and have my incision site looked at, it's been bothering me. For now, we just keep an eye on it.
I know this will all be for His good, but sometimes you just get angry.
Biopsy, ER, Doctor Visit
Tuesday I had a CT guided biopsy of my lower left pelvic area so doctors can be exactly sure of what it is. I expected to have pain after the procedure, but not like I experienced. I could not get the pain controlled at home. So, per doctors instruction Mom and I went to the ER and sat there for 8 hours to finally be told I had bruising on the inside and they had hit my sciatic nerve.
Sent home with steroids and a muscle relaxer. So far the pain has stayed down.
I missed what would be Round 10 of chemo - I did have to go in for labs and talk to Dr. Tran. I told him about the ER visit and he said we would be stopping chemo for 4 weeks incase of surgery. So it is nice to have a break from that. I am hopeful results from both tests will be good and surgery will be a go!
My visit with Dr. Lorenzo went very well. She was not able to see or feel the rectal tumor. She said there was only a scar there! It was great to hear such good news cause the last couple weeks have been tough!
I hope to truly make the best of the next few weeks!