July 28, 2016

Heads Up

Just writing a little heads up post here. My blog is about to get really busy ya'll. I am going to start making scheduled posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

 One is going to be from my personal cancer journal that I keep, so you all have a little more insight on the things I really go through.

The other is going to be my sermon notes from Dr. Charles Stanley (In Touch Ministries) and Joyce Meyer (Enjoying Everyday Life).

I hope all who read these will not only learn from them, but enjoy the sermon posts.

I look forward to gaining more readers through this experiment!

July 23, 2016

The Mind of a Cancer Patient

Today, I want to share with you what it is like inside my mind sometimes...

On Good Days: (Like today) My mined is in a good place. My thoughts are happy and pleasant. On days like this cancer is forgotten about. I have a very thankful heart! I live my life as normal on this days and truly enjoy them! That may consist of being very busy out and about, or enjoying the quiet of my room reading & writing.

On Bad Days: OF course these are the most challenging. They come with many emotions, often mixed. They come with lots of frustration, too. These are the days that are mentally exhausting. I am often very irritable and hard to handle on these days as well. I am quick to snap and people without meaning to. I don't know how I am going to feel from day-to-day. When I don't feel good I find that I wonder what is next a lot... But often find the next day is usually brighter!

So, What do we feel?

Anger & Frustration because we get tired of pain and daily medication routines. They.Get.Old. Pain makes us angry because sometimes we don't know the cause and pain meds don't always help.

Sadness & Uncertainty because we do not know what tomorrow brings. Even so we get up and make the best of everyday. I fine that I personally experience the most sadness when I hear of someone passing from cancer. It shakes my care and boggles my mind for a few days, because one day... but it's one day for everyone and if we know Jesus, then all is well anyway. But, I will be 100% right now, my flesh is not ok with that. Maybe because I am young. Maybe my faith is weak, I don't know, but I pray for peace when that time comes.

Happiness, yep! We have good days. For some they are many, others very few. I am very fortunate to have lots of good days. I make the best of each! Sometimes, I spent them being lazy, most days I try to do sometime fun. I have had a lot of lazy days lately because of the heat!! When I am happy & feeling good cancer is the farthest thing from my mind; and I am so glad I am able to just live, and not have cancer in the forefront. I consider that a blessing!

I hope that by writing this it helps others to understand that this is not just a physical battle, but mental too; and that when I seem snappy I do not always mean it. Often, my mood is effected by the pre-meds I get before chemo & the meds I take daily at home.

July 14, 2016

Chemo Side Effects

The side effects of chemo and how they really effect and interfere with daily life are hard to explain to someone who is not "in it" with you every day, day in and day out.

So, in this blog I am going to make an attempt to explain the side effects I experience and how they affect my daily life.

*Keep in mind this in my own personal experience. Someone else's may be totally different depending upon the type of treatment they are receiving.*

~Numbness and Tingling: I have this sensation in my hands almost all the time as a result of the Oxacilliaplatin. This is one I hoped would go away after stopping that particular drug. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. I still experience this after every cycle and lately it has been lingering into my off weeks. It makes daily tasks a challenge. I do not like the feeling of a wet wash cloth in my hands so that makes showering and bathing difficult. The feeling of the keyboard under my fingertips is sometimes annoying so that is why it has been almost a month since anything has been written in here. I am having to just make myself do my normal things despite this nuisance.

~Fatigue: This is a big one. Sometimes your body just puts the brakes on and you have to rest! I have been known to sleep nearly 3 days, but this is not uncommon/. Chemo is hard on your body so it is important to rest as needed.

~Nausea/Loss of Appetite: This is a very common side effect for many patients. I have been very fortunate and only had mild nausea which Zofran takes care of. But, I know of many who stay sick through treatment.

~Irritability/Restlessness: I don't know about anyone else, but this is another biggy for me. Noise gets on my nerves after chemo, as well as joking around and being silly. Yeah, it's odd but just me. I like still and quiet after treatment. My irritability is not directed at anyone specifically - I just prefer a couple days of quiet unless I feel like doing something. This is also caused by the medications I am on during treatment and at home.

These are just some of the things I have/do experience after treatment and a lot of times they are very frustrating.