Where Do We Go From Here? (5/22/16) ~ Emotions and Feelings (5/27/16)

Where Do We Go From Here?

 I am hoping to have a better understanding of this very question. It is a difficult question to have in your mind.  I see Dr. Tran Wednesday afternoon and am eager to speak to him about treatment options.

I will not give up this fight. I have too many people fighting for me that are doing so because they love and care about me! I realize I cannot write worth a flip at night. But one day, all this mumbo jumbo will make some kind of sense!

OK! Let's try last nights entry again with clearer thoughts and better handwriting!

Where do we go from here?

Since finding out surgery was not the best option for me, this question has been on my mind. I know we will continue chemo. What kind? Are there any clinical trials i can do. All of these questions will be answered when I see Dr. Tran Wednesday afternoon. My hope is he will have good things to say in light of not having surgery. I also hope that after talking with him the acceptance will come easier. For now, I am just ready to start treatment again.

Round 17: More Good News, & Disconnect Day 9.9.16 ~ Off Week

Wednesday's appointment went well. Dr. Tran looked over my last scan again and said the liver tumor was so small, there would likely not be a need for any additional (targeted therapy).

According to the American Cancer Society, Targeted therapy is a newer type of cancer treatment that uses drugs or other substances to more precisely identify and attack cancer cells, usually while doing little damage to normal cells. Targeted therapy is a growing part of many cancer treatment regimens.

I, of course, thought this news was awesome. I just keep seeing how amazing God is through all this.

This week has been good. Nana sat with me at treatment. We enjoyed talking and coloring, and lunch from Jersey Mike's. It has been years since I have ate there - it is still as good as I remember it being back in my MTSU days!

Thursday was also a good day. I did have some pain & discomfort, but it was tolerable. I had sweet company for the afternoon. Mrs. Carolyn Devaney stopped by. She is a very sweet lady. I look forward to visiting with her again soon.

Since going back on a full-time medicine regimen I had to have the dosage lowered because I have been having a hard time staying awake during the day! Hopefully, this change helps! eta: So far it hasn't!!

Today, Friday has been a really good day with mom. We went and had my pump disconnected, and I had to get more Magic Mouthwash, and I will definitely be using it when the inside of my mouth feels chapped. Afterward, I treated us to lunch! We have just had a lot of fun together this week, with the help of Snap Chat. :) Hoping for minimal side effects, although it's looking like some naps may be in there somewhere.

My off week has been pretty good. It's been rather quiet, and I have been somewhat fatigued. The main focus of this week has been keeping pain under control. Somedays that is easy, some it is not. I am still trying to figure out if this medicine regimen is really working or not. I am having a hard time telling...

Thursday, I was able to enjoy dinner with my cousin Michael and his family at Yamato. I love Japanese, and will eat it any chance I get. His little boy, Sawyer is growing and cute as ever! I told them I really appreciated them making time for me, and next time our dinner was my treat!

Friday, was just a quiet day at home. I spent a lot of time going through my social media, and then colored for quite some time. It was a bad day for pain.. hard to control. :/

I have to say, despite trying to control pain today has been a good day. Mom, Dad, and I enjoyed an early dinner at Huddle House. The best part of my meal was the Dr. Pepper float. I was going to come home and nap, but as you can see that has not happened yet, I decided to write!!

Off Chemo(5/9/16) ~ Meeting with Dr. Lorenzo (5/12/16)

Off Chemo

I am glad to say I have enjoyed being off treatment. I was able to thoroughly enjoy a family camping trip in the mountains. We had a lot of good fellowship. It was much needed for everyone. I honestly can't wait to do it again. We were able to spend time with some extended family on the trip as well. Dad's brother Mickey, Aunt Wilma and their grands went too. It was awesome to hang out with everyone. We of course did a little shopping while we were there. Then, on our last day; sis, Colton, and I stayed behind and we went to Gatlinburg and spent the day. We went through the Hollywood wax museum, a car museum, and ate lunch at Dick's Last Resort. It was all a lot of fun! Like I said, I can't wait to do it again. I love the mountains!

Even though I am off chemo in preparation for surgery I still have moments. I got upset and cried the other night. I had not done that in a long time. I just got overwhelmed thinking about all I have to deal with day in and day out. Medicines, counts, etc. But I have to remember God is in control, not me and there will be victory in this fight.

A Moment (4/19/16) ~ Biopsy, ER, Doctor Visit (4/26/16)

A Moment 

For the first time in a long time I had a moment. A moment of anger. A moment I didn't want to. I wished for a moment that I did not know about the cancer, but then what? I wouldn't know how to make the best of each day like I do now.

Still, I get annoyed at all the little things that have come with this journey. Blood pressure meds, anxiety meds, shots for blood clots... not how I thought life would be in my 30's, but it is not my plan; it's His. I have to keep trusting He has this. I know I will make it. It just gets hard when you let your mind get the best of you, and that happens sometimes because we are human.

I am glad that when the negative emotions and thoughts rage in my mind it is only for a moment, then I get over and and go back to my happy self. I had to go to the doctor today and have my incision site looked at, it's been bothering me. For now, we just keep an eye on it.

I know this will all be for His good, but sometimes you just get angry.

Round 8: Reaction (4/2/16) ~ Round 9 (4/17/16)

Round 8: Reaction

This round of chemo took an unexpected turn. I had a reaction to some of the chemo. I got very hot, my BP went up, and I felt like I could pass out at any moment. It was very scary!

The doctor quickly took me off the meds that caused the reaction and said he will change it. I was given a steroid and began to feel better shortly thereafter! In the meantime I have just enjoyed time off while waiting for the CT at the end of this week. I did experience a little nausea this cycle but it was tolerable.

I have noticed less anxiety this go round as well, even knowing I have a scan. I have kept as busy as I could and kept positive people and thoughts around! I am impressed daily with the way I feel and the mobility I have regained.

God is working in my life. I have no doubt. I know He has His hand on those scan results already and they are going to be just fine. IN JESUS NAME!!

No Title (3/13/16) ~ Round 7: Chemo Day (3/16/16)

No Title

This has just continued to be a great week. The sunshine has really improved my mood this week and I have enjoyed a lot this week. Tomorrow is Round 7. I am looking forward to having a couple friends visit and have lunch. And praying for no side effects!

Round #6 - Great Week (3/4/16) ~ Off Week - Fun, Sun, and Blessings (3/13/16)

Round #6 Great Week

This week was round 6, only two more to go before the next scan. My week started out with seeing Foreigner in concert at the Tivoli with Erin. We ha an awesome time. We even got moved to the front row so I could see the show, and I got the set list at the end of the show!!

I also received good news from Dr. Tran this week. My tumor markers are normal. This is an indication that the chemo is still working. I am so glad it has been a great week!