October 2, 2014

Disabled Dating: We Are Not a Charity

I have been single for a year and a half now. Since then, I have casually hung out with people; but have not been on a date that has actually led to really getting to know someone to see where things go.

If you read my blog or follow me on Facebook you know that I enjoy going out and listening to live music. This is my way of letting go of stress and worries. I have a great time when I am out. I get out on the dance floor and dance the night away just like everyone else, but I have noticed something in the way people approach me and those I am with.

I constantly hear people say:

"You are so awesome!"
"It is so good to see someone like you out having a good time and enjoying life."

Then, they approach whomever I am with and proceed to tell them what an amazing person I am and how it is great that [they] take time to get me out.

I have thought about all of this for a while, and honestly it bothers me a little bit, and in writing what I am about to write here I know I am not just speaking for me, but also those who are afraid to say it.
It seems as though society views those of us in the disabled community as a charity sometimes. Especially when we are seen doing normal things like normal people, be it going out dancing, holding a job, living on our own, or the main point of this post; dating.
Those who choose to take part in the lives of others who are different are not "special" because they choose to have something to do with us. They see us as they see you. Normal, and proceed to treat us as such. We want this not only in friends, but a partner as well.

The point to all this rambling? We are tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting because someone is too afraid to take the chance. Be bold and make an effort to get to know someone who's different you may find they have more to give than you thought.