June 26, 2015

I Let Go, I Let God - My Personal Testimony

We have all heard the phrase "Let Go and Let God." at some point in our lives. I know I have many a time in my life.

Today, I am going to take you on a brief journey of how I have come to know the meaning of this phrase in my own life.

I have always known who God was/is. My grandparents taught me about spirituality and I attended church with them growing up. I began to pray before I was ever saved. At 7 years of age I can remember lying in bed at night with a prayer cloth which had been given to me by a pastor; praying that by Jesus stripes I would be healed. At 9 years of age, I prayed what to me would be my first real, heartfelt prayer. I prayed that God would take care of me and guide my doctors during surgery before going back to the OR (03-10-1993). When I got back to the OR my doctor told me everything would be fine. I knew then that He had heard my prayer. It has been 22 years since I have been back in the OR for any kind of surgery pertaining to my having Cerebral Palsy. Thank you Jesus!

Two years later, the summer of 1995; I asked Jesus into my heart during VBS and was also baptized.

Fast forward to my early twenties. At this time, I had moved away from home and was a college student. Church was not a big part of my life, but this was the time when I began keeping a prayer journal as a means of how I pray. After coming back home, I didn't go to church much at all and was very busy living an ungodly life to be honest.

Now here I am in my early 30's. The last two years of my life have been full of many ups and downs, highs and lows and plenty of soul searching. While I relied on God to get me through this difficult time in my life, I was still looking for love in all the wrong places if you will. In mid April of this year, I decided I was done with that life. I knew that the kind of person I really want to spend the rest of my life with was not going to be found in the places I was hanging out. My sister bought me a Bible I had been looking at for a while and I've read almost every day since. I have started going back to church on a regular basis as well. I have learned so much from my own personal reading as well as church sermons in the last two months. I cannot get enough! It is amazing when you can truly understand what you are reading and what you are hearing. I have also started worshiping through music and sometimes all I can do is cry while I am listening or even writing. Feeling the Spirit and knowing that He is near is the most awesome feeling I have ever felt.

It may have taken me 20 years to get here, but I have no doubt that I am where I need to be. Where I am SUPPOSED to be. I had so much peace with this decision, peace like I've never felt before.

I am so glad to have this outlet, because maybe; just maybe someone will come to know their Savior through reading my testimony.