I Owe It ALL to Him...

Photo Credit: FirstCovers.com

In my last post I wrote about having to have a scan rather early, however I did not post what the results were..

Let me just begin by saying, I truly owe it ALL to GOD, My Father, My Savior!! He is working in my favor on this journey, well I should not say working in my favor. He is answering prayers, and has again and again throughout this journey. If you have followed since the beginning then you know that I was told in the beginning that my treatment would be on going and I would not be cured, the cancer would be maintained. My best hope was, no evidence of disease. I myself, was very unsure about this, even as much as I have trusted in Him the cancer journey can sometimes be a bundle of nerves. I was particularly apprehensive about this scan because:

1. It was scheduled earlier than normal. They are usually about 3-4 months apart.
2. I have been having a lot of pain in the same general area for months and they didn't know where it was coming from.
3. I was worried the cancer had grown and/or spread.

Well, we went in on the 19th of October for treatment and results....

Ya'll, I could not believe my ears when the doctor left the room!!! The liver tumor is now barely visible if even at all on the scan, they only had to remark on it because it was on the scan I had in August. So, that means all that can be seen on the scan cancer wise is the pelvic lymphnode and it remains stable at this time. He also said, "There was no new evidence of cancer growth." I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was/am to hear these words, because they are words I wasn't sure I would hear. I am relieved and I am thankful that I serve a mighty God who seen fit for me to be blessed once again on this journey with good news. I am so thankful for that. I am thankful for my life, more now than I ever have been. It truly is a precious gift from Him and we need to thank Him for it everyday.

I am so glad that I can look forward to this holiday season without fear and gloom hanging over my head. I can celebrate my life during this season and I am beyond grateful for that.

I did ask one of my nurses if I would be considered to be in what is called partial remission and her thoughts were yes, but that I would still have to take my treatment on a regular schedule like I have been. I would not be able to have a break of months with no chemo. My chemo is a lot like Round Up. It keeps the cancer away just like Round Up keeps weeds away! 

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), partial remission is defined as a decrease in the size of a tumor, or in the extent of cancer in the body, in response to treatment. Also called a partial response.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR THIS BLESSING UPON MY LIFE AND FAMILY. I COULD NOT HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT YOUR LOVE AND MERCY UPON MY LIFE! THANK YOU FATHER FOR THE STRENGTH YOU GIVE ME TO MAKE IT THROUGH EACH AND EVERY DAY, EVEN WHEN SOME ARE NOT THAT GREAT. EVEN ON THE DAYS THAT I HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD CRY JUST TO PROCESS SOME EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS. YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE TO PICK ME BACK UP AND SEND WARM, COMFORTING THOUGHTS MY WAY.

Love & Hugs,

Crystal

Short, but Sweet...

I know it has been quite sometime since I have written in here. For that I greatly apologize to those who read my blog faithfully, I appreciate you. I have just been really busy this last month with appointments, and just living life that I have not stopped long enough to sit down and let everyone in cyberspace know what has been going on.

Health: As you all know upon last scan the doctor said that we would not have to do any additional therapies to the liver tumor as it was too small. This was 2 months ago. I had to have another scan in mid October because he wanted to try and find out for sure where the pain I have been having was coming from, so we had our next CT a little early than normal.

I came in for the scan on the 17th, just after returning from a weekend away in the mountains with family to see the Biltmore. I really enjoyed our time there and everything we were able to see and do. As soon as I get the pictures on the tablet, I will make a picture post with a few of the pictures  I took on the trip. I took several and do not want to ruin it for those who have not been and may go one day.

So, the scan when fine. They were able to get the blood return from the port they needed.

Wednesday I go in for results and treatment (the 20th). The doctor apologizes for not calling me the night before w/the results as he typically does. I assured him it was fine. Now to the news. The liver tumor is unremarkable on the scan (which means it cannot be seen)... and the pelvic tumor is still the same. And we continued on with round 20.

It is hard to believe how far I have come in just a year. In just a few short weeks I will be having my cancerversary, but I will celebrate this day because I am still here.  When I was first diagnosed with the cancer none of us knew what to expect or where to turn. I just knew that to get through this I was going to have to do some heavy duty trusting in God Almighty, because he was the only way I was going to make it through this. And boy, did He have a plan for this year ya'll. I really and truly expected that even though I was going to grab this by the horns and do what I had to; that I would still look and be somewhat like your typical cancer patient.

Bald head
Loss of weight
Constantly sick
No appetite... etc..

While I did experience a little nausea it was very mild compared to others going through this.

Ya'll, I am blessed to stilll look like me and act like me. My hair may be buzzed but I am still Crystal.

Am I the same person I was a year ago? Not at all. I wouldn't expect to be. I have changed a lot. I am a lot more outspoken about what I think and how I feel. I am still learning to be mindful of others in my situation or similar. I live everyday to the fullest and the best of my ability and also try to remember to start my days in study with Jesus. <3

That's all for now folks! Gotta get some zzZZzzz's...

Love and Hugs
Crystal

Round 18: Giggly Girls & SnapChat

Round 18 was lots of fun with my Nana B! We were giggly girls having fun on SnapChat.

 As you can see we had a lot of fun playing on Snap Chat. Afterward. we enjoyed our Wednesday lunch at Jersey Mike's! We truly make the best out of a day that could be filled with gloom. I go in with a smile, and she brings the laughter! I look forward to chemo days with Nana and Mom

Love and Hugs,
Crystal

Off Week (7/9/16) ~ Round 13 (7/14/16) ~ Off Week Again (7/16/16)

Off Week

For an off week this one has been quite a challenge. But, I still manage to find good in each day.

I had a very good Fourth of July with Mike, Karen, and cuz Misty. She and I got to meet EmiSunshine! I was  really tired that night and snappy because I was hurting. Thankfully, that is all good now.

However, to backtrack... I learned I do not like to be away from Mom and Dad during chemo week. It's nothing against anyone else, I am just use to the way we do things and that is okay.

Now, why this week has been a challenge...

My hands have been numb and tingling since treatment. This is very frustrating. I can't stand to touch anything cold or wet. I have to put something over a cup and can't stand the feeling of a wash cloth which makes showering difficult. Writing, typing, everything I normally do is effected by this because I don't like the way things feel in my hands.

I have also been ill and irritable this week. This is expected with medications I am on, but I am going to work on it the best I can.

Round 13

So far this round has gone well. I am hoping not have any bad side effects after this round because I have plans Saturday. I watched the ESPYS last night. There was a gentleman on there who has leukemia an has lived 2 years long than expected. He renewed my hope and made me want to fight harder. I find it amazing how people we do not know can help us. I hope that someone out there is helped through my story. I know I have probably touched many and just don't know it.

I had a visit from Aunt Sharon and Uncle Andy today. We went to and visited Mamaw and Papaw. It was good to see them!

Everything Is Not Sunshine & Rainbows...

Photo Credit: Jillybean345 @ deviantart.net

My blog has become sort of a "Dear Diary" base and I do not like that. I know I use it to update everyone on how my cancer treatment is going and I am happy to do that for you. But, I need to change it up a bit I think, also. I need to be a bit more real with the world outside about what a day in my life is like. I need to share the ins and outs, the good and bad, I need to share it all. And you must know and understand that -everything is not sunshine and rainbows- ~sometimes is black clouds and rain.~

So, what is today? In my world it's sunshine and rainbows. I am content, my pain level is at a steady 1 (yay for this) I am sitting comfortably in my recliner with my favorite blanket, coloring books, a box of Crayons, and my tablet. This is typically how everyday is spent. Typically, especially during chemo week. It is getting that time of year where I need to stay inside and keep my immunity up as best I can for my off weeks. That means, staying inside in my recliner with a big t-shirt on and a diaper under my favorite blanket. [I told you I was going to be raw and open.]

A lot has changed over the last few months as far as the dynamics of my care, and though it has been an adjustment, I am okay with whatever helps and makes everyone of us comfortable as a whole.

How have the dynamics changed? The biggest change for me has been less physical activity. This is due in part to not being able to sit in my wheelchair for extended periods of time because of pain. This particular pain began after having a biopsy done on my lower left pelvis I believe. Since then, I have not been able to sit in my wheelchair for long periods of time unless I medicate before hand. If I do not do so then as soon as I sit down in the chair my pain level shoots up and it takes a while for it to come back down to a bearable level so I can sit in my chair. So, instead of sitting in my chair during the day; I opted for my Mom's recliner. This is the only other place I can sit comfortably besides my bed, and I don't need to stay there all day.

The bathroom has also become kind of nonexistent in my life these days; also due to the pain I mentioned above. It is very uncomfortable to sit on the toilet for any length of time to go. If I am having a good day and able to be up in my wheelchair for the biggest part of the day, I do try my best to use the potty; but more often than not, that just doesn't happen these days. How did we remedy this? You guessed it! Adult pull-ups & diapers. This is the part that took me some getting use to. I found it embarrassing for a while. Who wants to be in such a position at 32 if it can be helped? No one. But, that is the reality of life, sometimes these things cannot be helped and you just have to go with the flow and do what makes things easier and gives you, the patient, the most comfort. Right now, that is what gives me the most comfort because I am not in pain while trying to go, and I shouldn't have to be.

However, it can make for some long tiresome nights for both mom and I. I usually have to wake her up at least 2 times a night depending on how things have gone that day with my stomach. It tends to like to work at night, no matter what we do. But, I know she wouldn't trade this chapter in our lives, nor would I. We needed something to draw us close together, to help us find our comfortzone with each other.. Cancer brought us together, and I will be forever grateful.

 I know some people cannot handle this type of thing and that is fine, but I do pray there is someone out there who can so I can have the love and companionship I deserve to have, just like everyone else.

Bed Time has changed too. Things have to be done a certain way or I am restless and do not sleep well. Truth be told, Mom has be a little spoiled and I am fine with that. She fixes my pillows a certain way each night depending on how I choose to sleep. Generally, I sleep on my left side with one pillow behind my back and the other tucked under my head where I can snuggle the corner along with holding my Pup. [ 32 and sleep with a BaB stuffed animal, win!] She still tucks the cover in around me too... and off to sleep I go and usually sleep all night.

So there you have it neatly laid out... my daily life and what it is like. Even some of what it consists of... and now you know that every day is not sunshine and rainbows. Some days are pain filled and not pleasant for anyone. Others, much like today.. are calm and relaxing...

Chemo #10 and 11 (6/16/16)

Chemo #10 and 11

 Round 10 was a bit rough. As I expected it to be. I had some tummy troubles and was completely exhausted from treatment. I slept the entire weekend away. It took a couple days after for me to start feeling good. Then the following Wednesday I ended up vomiting shortly after taking my AM meds. So I took it easy and laid around the majority of the day. Thankfully, by evening I was well again.

Thursday was an exciting day, it was my very first day of work at The Dog House. I really enjoyed it and had a lot fun. Definitely looking forward to next Thursday. The dogs are good anxiety therapy. I ma hoping to pick up one more day on my off weeks. I cannot go in during chemo week because my immunity could be low and I have the 5-FU pump on; which would get in the way a lot.

Round 11 has not been bad at all. (Thank you Jesus). Dr. Tran is still very pleased with how I am doing. Especially how well I am able to keep pain controlled with a few pain meds and heat. Mainly heat!! No tummy trouble so far. The steroids make me hungry though! So, I am off to get some food in my belly!

Where Do We Go From Here? (5/22/16) ~ Emotions and Feelings (5/27/16)

Where Do We Go From Here?

 I am hoping to have a better understanding of this very question. It is a difficult question to have in your mind.  I see Dr. Tran Wednesday afternoon and am eager to speak to him about treatment options.

I will not give up this fight. I have too many people fighting for me that are doing so because they love and care about me! I realize I cannot write worth a flip at night. But one day, all this mumbo jumbo will make some kind of sense!

OK! Let's try last nights entry again with clearer thoughts and better handwriting!

Where do we go from here?

Since finding out surgery was not the best option for me, this question has been on my mind. I know we will continue chemo. What kind? Are there any clinical trials i can do. All of these questions will be answered when I see Dr. Tran Wednesday afternoon. My hope is he will have good things to say in light of not having surgery. I also hope that after talking with him the acceptance will come easier. For now, I am just ready to start treatment again.

Round 17: More Good News, & Disconnect Day 9.9.16 ~ Off Week

Wednesday's appointment went well. Dr. Tran looked over my last scan again and said the liver tumor was so small, there would likely not be a need for any additional (targeted therapy).

According to the American Cancer Society, Targeted therapy is a newer type of cancer treatment that uses drugs or other substances to more precisely identify and attack cancer cells, usually while doing little damage to normal cells. Targeted therapy is a growing part of many cancer treatment regimens.

I, of course, thought this news was awesome. I just keep seeing how amazing God is through all this.

This week has been good. Nana sat with me at treatment. We enjoyed talking and coloring, and lunch from Jersey Mike's. It has been years since I have ate there - it is still as good as I remember it being back in my MTSU days!

Thursday was also a good day. I did have some pain & discomfort, but it was tolerable. I had sweet company for the afternoon. Mrs. Carolyn Devaney stopped by. She is a very sweet lady. I look forward to visiting with her again soon.

Since going back on a full-time medicine regimen I had to have the dosage lowered because I have been having a hard time staying awake during the day! Hopefully, this change helps! eta: So far it hasn't!!

Today, Friday has been a really good day with mom. We went and had my pump disconnected, and I had to get more Magic Mouthwash, and I will definitely be using it when the inside of my mouth feels chapped. Afterward, I treated us to lunch! We have just had a lot of fun together this week, with the help of Snap Chat. :) Hoping for minimal side effects, although it's looking like some naps may be in there somewhere.

My off week has been pretty good. It's been rather quiet, and I have been somewhat fatigued. The main focus of this week has been keeping pain under control. Somedays that is easy, some it is not. I am still trying to figure out if this medicine regimen is really working or not. I am having a hard time telling...

Thursday, I was able to enjoy dinner with my cousin Michael and his family at Yamato. I love Japanese, and will eat it any chance I get. His little boy, Sawyer is growing and cute as ever! I told them I really appreciated them making time for me, and next time our dinner was my treat!

Friday, was just a quiet day at home. I spent a lot of time going through my social media, and then colored for quite some time. It was a bad day for pain.. hard to control. :/

I have to say, despite trying to control pain today has been a good day. Mom, Dad, and I enjoyed an early dinner at Huddle House. The best part of my meal was the Dr. Pepper float. I was going to come home and nap, but as you can see that has not happened yet, I decided to write!!

Off Chemo(5/9/16) ~ Meeting with Dr. Lorenzo (5/12/16)

Off Chemo

I am glad to say I have enjoyed being off treatment. I was able to thoroughly enjoy a family camping trip in the mountains. We had a lot of good fellowship. It was much needed for everyone. I honestly can't wait to do it again. We were able to spend time with some extended family on the trip as well. Dad's brother Mickey, Aunt Wilma and their grands went too. It was awesome to hang out with everyone. We of course did a little shopping while we were there. Then, on our last day; sis, Colton, and I stayed behind and we went to Gatlinburg and spent the day. We went through the Hollywood wax museum, a car museum, and ate lunch at Dick's Last Resort. It was all a lot of fun! Like I said, I can't wait to do it again. I love the mountains!

Even though I am off chemo in preparation for surgery I still have moments. I got upset and cried the other night. I had not done that in a long time. I just got overwhelmed thinking about all I have to deal with day in and day out. Medicines, counts, etc. But I have to remember God is in control, not me and there will be victory in this fight.

A Moment (4/19/16) ~ Biopsy, ER, Doctor Visit (4/26/16)

A Moment 

For the first time in a long time I had a moment. A moment of anger. A moment I didn't want to. I wished for a moment that I did not know about the cancer, but then what? I wouldn't know how to make the best of each day like I do now.

Still, I get annoyed at all the little things that have come with this journey. Blood pressure meds, anxiety meds, shots for blood clots... not how I thought life would be in my 30's, but it is not my plan; it's His. I have to keep trusting He has this. I know I will make it. It just gets hard when you let your mind get the best of you, and that happens sometimes because we are human.

I am glad that when the negative emotions and thoughts rage in my mind it is only for a moment, then I get over and and go back to my happy self. I had to go to the doctor today and have my incision site looked at, it's been bothering me. For now, we just keep an eye on it.

I know this will all be for His good, but sometimes you just get angry.

Round 8: Reaction (4/2/16) ~ Round 9 (4/17/16)

Round 8: Reaction

This round of chemo took an unexpected turn. I had a reaction to some of the chemo. I got very hot, my BP went up, and I felt like I could pass out at any moment. It was very scary!

The doctor quickly took me off the meds that caused the reaction and said he will change it. I was given a steroid and began to feel better shortly thereafter! In the meantime I have just enjoyed time off while waiting for the CT at the end of this week. I did experience a little nausea this cycle but it was tolerable.

I have noticed less anxiety this go round as well, even knowing I have a scan. I have kept as busy as I could and kept positive people and thoughts around! I am impressed daily with the way I feel and the mobility I have regained.

God is working in my life. I have no doubt. I know He has His hand on those scan results already and they are going to be just fine. IN JESUS NAME!!

No Title (3/13/16) ~ Round 7: Chemo Day (3/16/16)

No Title

This has just continued to be a great week. The sunshine has really improved my mood this week and I have enjoyed a lot this week. Tomorrow is Round 7. I am looking forward to having a couple friends visit and have lunch. And praying for no side effects!

Round #6 - Great Week (3/4/16) ~ Off Week - Fun, Sun, and Blessings (3/13/16)

Round #6 Great Week

This week was round 6, only two more to go before the next scan. My week started out with seeing Foreigner in concert at the Tivoli with Erin. We ha an awesome time. We even got moved to the front row so I could see the show, and I got the set list at the end of the show!!

I also received good news from Dr. Tran this week. My tumor markers are normal. This is an indication that the chemo is still working. I am so glad it has been a great week!

Feelings (2/11/16) #5/ Off week (2/23/16)

Loneliness - I have been single now almost 3 years and been fine. However, I have noticed the further into treatment I get the more lonely I feel. I know I have a lot of people who love and care for me, but I long to love someone again. I know it will happen with time...

Anxiety/Sadness - I've had a problem with anxiety & sadness for  a couple weeks because I knew I had a scan coming up this week. I've woke up crying a few mornings and experienced thoughts of what if... not sure what to expect next...

Happiness/Reassurance - Knowing for sure things are going well and treatment IS working.
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Round 5 went well, no side effects as experienced with 4. I have been going and doing a lot more the last couple weeks even though it has been cold and wet. I will be glad when Spring arrives and the sunshine is out more - though I will still have to cover up so my face doesn't turn pink!

Therapy is going well. Not sure if we are going to do a lot, but it is something and they do come to the house.

Round 16, Birchwood Girls, Church - Pictures Included!

Wednesday was fantastic for the most part. I had some pain, but I fought through it. I got up early enough to put make up on, which was fun, and made me feel good. I figured I may as well put my free samples to use instead of just letting them sit in my make up bag. The eyeliner I got in my Ipsy bag this month rocks! I always look forward to getting my make up bag each month, now to start making a point to get use out of it.

Jessica, (My Birchwood Girl) came to visit Mom and me at treatment this week. We went out for lunch after, and then had a short, nice visit at her house before having to head out for church. She has a beautiful home. It is very quiet and peaceful with a lot of natural light coming in. I love it and could spend hours sitting by the huge windows in the kitchen reading.

Mom mentioned something about wanting my tablet at treatment and I told her she could have it, and I would get an iPad since it would connect with my phone and also since Apple seems to connect to WiFi at treatment a lot better than my Surface. Needless to say, Jess remembered her son had an iPad he no longer used and he kindly gave it to me. I went shopping on Amazon today and bought a case with a keyboard for it. I am looking forward to learning how to use it - cause I've never had an iPad!

This handsome boy right here is Jess' baby named Barnabas. He is a beautiful Maine Coon cat. I am not generally a cat person, but this big guy kinda stole my heart. He is just a big ole baby! He has a very sweet and playful nature about him. So, now I am his "Aunt Crystal". :)

To go back to treatment, it went great today; the new port has made a huge difference. It doesn't feel weighted and heavy upon access like the other one. I really cannot even tell I have this one in. Just knowing that made the day a whole lot better!

However, I do have to change my medicine regiment which I was not happy about, but will do what I have to to remain pain-free at this point even if I don't like it.

Ya know, that's just life sometimes, we fight through pain to have a good day and suck it up, and do things we do not like to remain comfortable and/or pain free to keep our lives worth living!

I was also able to attend the first night of Kids Konnection - a program my church is doing in place of Awana this year. I have to say it is really neat. I enjoy watching the kids get exciting about singing and serving our Lord. I get to be with the toddlers. I must say, it is lots of fun. They are little busy bodies and they love to push my wheelchair around. I am blessed to be able to sit in this class even though we do not really teach them anything. I am teaching them how to accept someone who is "different" at a very young age. I love having this opportunity, and they are a joy to be around. I love the sound of their laughter as they run around giggling, and the warmth of their smile and hugs.

Hugs and Love,
Crystal

P.S.: I just realized I never sign my posts.. shame!

Off Week 2: Indifferent (1/16/16) Chemo Week/Off Week #3 (1/28/16)

Today was a good day, pain free. But I also felt off or indifferent. It was a tough day mentally, but I was able to distract myself with coloring. It helps me a lot. I don't think about anything except the picture I am coloring.

Emily hung out with me today while Mom & Dad got out of the house for a while.

I do not really share with sis when I am feeling a little off. I would just rather write and get everything out that way. I am hoping next week is better mentally & emotionally. I would like to get through the lonely spell. It is lasting longer than I am use to!!

Today's verse is really appropriate/ I am really glad I am learning to trust Him through all things in my life!

This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. I John 5:14 NIV

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This round of chemo went very well other than having trouble getting a blood return. I felt good afterward and was not grouchy. I was looking forward to a great week ahead. I came home and napped. When I woke up I had pain in my neck and shoulder. I thought I had just pulled a muscle. The pain started getting worse so by the advice of Cassie, i called the doctor. They told me to go in and have my port checked. Get to the ER at 11:30 PM Saturday night. Jade was there and stayed til I was diagnosed. (She's awesome)!!

Turns out I had 2 small blood clots, one in each lung. So I was admitted for 4 1/2 days. During this stay I had to have a procedure done to clean my port. It should have taken 10 minutes and took an hour due to complications.

For now, I am happy to say that my port is giving a blood return which keeps me from having to be stuck. I am praying it continues working. I was able to come home yesterday. But, I was very anxious and cried a lot.

Today has been a lot better. I was a little anxous this morning but it got better. I told mom I was going to check out Christian Mingle today. So we will see how that goes!

Off Week 2 Sister Time (1/14/16) ~ Off Week 2: Awesome News (1/15/16)

Another great day in the books ya'll! I enjoyed lunch at Stevi B's today with sis. Afterward, we shopped at Target. Then, we went to sis' and hung out for the evening. I really enjoyed spending time there. It had been quite a while.

Today's verse is very fitting! I did pray and have prayers answered today! GLORY! I am looking forward to the weekend even though I do not have plans.

I pray to You, God, because You will help me. Listen and answer my prayer! Ps. 17:6 CEV

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Today turned out to be a really good day despite the gloomy weather. I helped Mom go through her crafting supplies and get all that organized. In the midst of that I received an unexpected phone call from my regular doctor. She asks how I am doing and I'm thinking she is just checking in to stay up-to-date; then she says, "Have you heard the news?" No... *wondering what it could be*... "Your new wheelchair has been APPROVED!! I couldn't contain my emotions. I began to cry with her on the phone!! I wasn't expecting my last appeal to go through. I was thinking we were still gonna have to keep fighting with insurance, but PRAISE THE LORD, they had a change of heart.

Expected arrival: February 2016

One Week Post - Op

Yesterday was one week since new port placement. The pain is a lot better. The tendonitis is also a lot better since getting steroids! I hope I do not have to deal with this again - it made me weak and has been quite painful.

Photo Courtesy of expedia

I received mail yesterday. A card from everyone at Ocoee Eye Center with tickets for my family and me to go to Biltmore Estates. I was soooooo happy - this is one of the items on my bucket list.

Photo Courtesy of Disney

I also had a coffee date with my sis Heather. We tried watching Zootopia but it started skipping really bad. So, we just visited and watched some Netflix.

I will be glad when my incisions heal up and I can be more mobile again. Not looking forward to having my port accessed next week, but maybe it will not be too complicated or painful.

Off Week #2 - Great Start (1/10/16) & Happy Days (1/12/16)

This week is off to a great start! Thank you Lord! Still no pain!! I was able to spend the biggest part of the day in my wheelchair which was a plus! Erin spent the afternoon here and then she and T came over with dinner and watched some of the Golden Globes!

I am just so very thankful for the friends I have, as well as my outlook on this journey!

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The past two days have been very good days, with the exception of a couple low points.Yesterday I  spent the biggest part of the day in bed cause it was cold! Tammy came by for a visit, always nice to see her! After she left, I finally got out of bed, but then had to deal with tingling hands - gloves on in the house!

Then at bedtime, I got upset cause we were all just a little frustrated, but hugs and love you's made it all better.

Today, I was able to enjoy the afternoon out. Mom and I ran an errand, then met Emily & Kaylee for a late lunch at O' Charley's... it was good and we all enjoyed!

I spent 3 hours coloring this evening which I always find relaxing! Today's verse is a sweet reminder just to keep trusting in Him to carry me through this journey! That's you God! :)

"He answered their prayers because they trusted in Him." 1 Chronicles 5:29 NIV

New Port Placement

Well, I ended up making a trip to the emergency room Friday evening. Not the way I wanted to spend my Mom's birthday, but in this family we do what we have to no matter the day. I had trouble with my port again this week. It would not give a return and also hurt when being flushed. Dr. Tran and the nurses suggested I get it took out that day (8/12), but Dr. Lorenzo was busy. The pain did not get any better throughout the day and I knew I would not be able to tough it out and wait for my original appointment on the 22nd. So, we arrived at Erlanger at about 9 p.m. I had a 2 hour wait in the lobby.. and several more hours after getting in an ER room to get pain medicine. I was to the point I was about to get mad at someone. They kept wanted to go round and round about why  I was there and I explained and kept asking for pain meds. Finally, I was give some Dilaudid and they made the decision to admit me and change out the port on Saturday.

I get into a room at around 3 I guess. Get some decent sleep and stay on top of pain meds and Ativan and sleep through the day until time for surgery at 2:00p.m. I make positively sure that I will be sedated for the procedure(s). The surgeons are very nice. Dr. Lorenzo's partner was on call this weekend so he did everything. I really wanted Dr. Lorenzo to do it, but I was to a point I had to do something. I knew I was not going to make it to my appointment date.

Now to get use to all this again and hope this port works better than the other one. I am very hopeful that it will give good returns and not cause so much discomfort.

My only other issue is my right shoulder, even after having the port taken out my shoulder pain did not subside. We are thinking it is something more along the lines of Bursitis or something now and what sucks about that is I cannot take Iboprofren or Aleve. The only relief I seem to get is rubbing it, ice/heat. So, if you don't mind please pray that this subsides soon because it greatly interferes with daily life.