A Moment (4/19/16) ~ Biopsy, ER, Doctor Visit (4/26/16)

A Moment 

For the first time in a long time I had a moment. A moment of anger. A moment I didn't want to. I wished for a moment that I did not know about the cancer, but then what? I wouldn't know how to make the best of each day like I do now.

Still, I get annoyed at all the little things that have come with this journey. Blood pressure meds, anxiety meds, shots for blood clots... not how I thought life would be in my 30's, but it is not my plan; it's His. I have to keep trusting He has this. I know I will make it. It just gets hard when you let your mind get the best of you, and that happens sometimes because we are human.

I am glad that when the negative emotions and thoughts rage in my mind it is only for a moment, then I get over and and go back to my happy self. I had to go to the doctor today and have my incision site looked at, it's been bothering me. For now, we just keep an eye on it.

I know this will all be for His good, but sometimes you just get angry.

New Port Placement

Well, I ended up making a trip to the emergency room Friday evening. Not the way I wanted to spend my Mom's birthday, but in this family we do what we have to no matter the day. I had trouble with my port again this week. It would not give a return and also hurt when being flushed. Dr. Tran and the nurses suggested I get it took out that day (8/12), but Dr. Lorenzo was busy. The pain did not get any better throughout the day and I knew I would not be able to tough it out and wait for my original appointment on the 22nd. So, we arrived at Erlanger at about 9 p.m. I had a 2 hour wait in the lobby.. and several more hours after getting in an ER room to get pain medicine. I was to the point I was about to get mad at someone. They kept wanted to go round and round about why  I was there and I explained and kept asking for pain meds. Finally, I was give some Dilaudid and they made the decision to admit me and change out the port on Saturday.

I get into a room at around 3 I guess. Get some decent sleep and stay on top of pain meds and Ativan and sleep through the day until time for surgery at 2:00p.m. I make positively sure that I will be sedated for the procedure(s). The surgeons are very nice. Dr. Lorenzo's partner was on call this weekend so he did everything. I really wanted Dr. Lorenzo to do it, but I was to a point I had to do something. I knew I was not going to make it to my appointment date.

Now to get use to all this again and hope this port works better than the other one. I am very hopeful that it will give good returns and not cause so much discomfort.

My only other issue is my right shoulder, even after having the port taken out my shoulder pain did not subside. We are thinking it is something more along the lines of Bursitis or something now and what sucks about that is I cannot take Iboprofren or Aleve. The only relief I seem to get is rubbing it, ice/heat. So, if you don't mind please pray that this subsides soon because it greatly interferes with daily life.