Sorry.
We say it when people we love don't feel well, have lost loved ones, are going through tough times. We say it when we don't know what to say to someone because we do not understand their situation.
We say it with the kindest intentions of sympathy and love. We really mean well.
But...
Sometimes, [and this is my own personal opinion] I think we need to work on saying positive words of encouragement in some circumstances.
I have heard "I'm sorry" all my life because of not being able to walk and having to use a wheelchair.. now cancer. Let me say again, I understand when you're not use to being around someone who has a disability or serious illness it is an automatic response meant sympathetically. I really do get it. I do the same.
However, sometimes, the word/words strike a cord with me that is uncomfortable.
Why?
Because I have never been sorry for anything I have endured in my life. Yes, I was born early and have Cerebral Palsy which results in me having to use a wheelchair. Am I sorry because of this? Not at all. I have nothing to be sorry for. It is just the way I was made and there is a purpose for it. Yes, I was diagnosed with cancer 8 months ago. Does it suck? Yes. Am I sorry? Not at all, because again there is a reason for it; and as I have said before it has brought me JOY. I cannot be sorry about something that has brought joy to my life - no matter what I have to endure.
No, chemo is not always fun. There are side effects that I do not like dealing with. Ya know what? Tough cookies. I have to. I am thankful for it because it is keeping my cancer stable and allowing me to still live my life to the fullest and I thank the Lord for that. I am not sorry that I have to endure these things.
I am thankful for the surgeries I have been through that have helped me be able to grow as a child without major physical complications.
I am thankful for my wheelchair because it allows me to be independent and mobile.
I am just thankful, for everything.
Instead of saying "I'm sorry," what else might you say to show sympathy or encourage someone?
What I've been working on doing is offering to help in some way. It started out as, "Let me know what I can do to help." But very few people ask for help. So I then changed it to a offer of something specific. Food, babysitting... whatever may fill a need. Then I realized that with the busy-ness of our lives it was difficult to find the energy to help so we started cutting out extras to make time to serve other people.
ReplyDeleteWhat started that was James. Oh, James. Always a call to action.
James 2:16 If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?