It's Not Always Sunshine & Rainbows

I know, my posts here are always uplifting and and positive. It mostly likely portrays my life as:

Sunshine & Rainbows

Let me assure you, it is not always that way. At this very moment, I am feeling much more like this:

Confused

Now, I do not feel this way in every aspect of my life. My life as a whole is great. However, there is part of it that I wish were a little bit easier and less confusing. I deal with a lot of minuet pains due to having a lot of spasticity and increased muscle tone in my lower extremities. Some occur only at night and others whenever they want to. I have dealt with them for years. I have finally succeeded in getting one of the major ones under control with the help of my doctor - because she took the time to listen to me and understand what I was saying. 

However, it is not always that simple. Sometimes, I don't even know what to do or who would be best to talk to. I know what is available for me to try, and I have tried some things. They work for only a little while it seems. 

I remember the days when it seemed easy. It was easy for me because I was not the one making the important decisions. My mother was and she did a great job. We had comfort in the team of doctors I had as a child at Shriners Hospitals for Children. Where would we have been without them? I don't know. Do I wish I could go back to them now? YES! I trusted them and felt they never steered us wrong.

Now, here I am a woman. Those decisions can no longer be made by anyone else but me. This is where I become confused. I don't know what is best for me. Finding the right doctor for such a conversation seems like a joke at times, but maybe I have found them. Maybe they will listen and help me to make the best informed decision I can with the options I know are out there.

Sometimes, I want that special someone there to cheer me on when I have tough days. [Not that my friends and family don't], I just want that part of love from my spouse. I deserve and pray I find it one day soon.

So, there you have it. A little more of me in a not so cheerful light, but rest assured; I will overcome. I always do.

Sometimes You Have to Laugh

I had to laugh today. I went in the kitchen today to get a drink and check the Keurig. [It is usually full of water just in case I want oatmeal for breakfast.] Well, it was not full so no oatmeal today, but that is perfectly fine. None of this I am writing about was intentional.  Yes, I know I could have made it in the microwave but the Keurig is much more convenient. So, I go to the refrigerator for a drink and this is what I see. A shrine of Coke, Dr. Pepper, and Yoo-Hoo's that are out of my reach. All I can do is look at them. (Mom sets a glass of tea, and/or a Coke in the door for me).

While this was a bit frustrating for a moment because I could not reach what I wanted; when Mom got home we laughed about it. I was not mad at her. Sometimes, when the little things frustrate you, its best to laugh them off and move along. It is not worth getting mad over. I have many of these moments in my life because I use a wheelchair. I am so glad that I have learned to laugh them off and not get mad.

I would be mad all the time if I let all the little things like this bother me constantly, and that is no way to live life. I see posts about people who feel trapped because they cannot get out and about much...etc. I am so thankful and grateful that even when I get down and out I find a reason to smile through it. I pull myself out of the slump.

Thanks Mom, for the laughs! :)

What little things like this have made you giggle?

Humbled.

Humbled.

Yes. I am. I have been following a fellow blogger for nearly three years now. She and I quickly became cyber-friends after she introduced me to Cerebral Palsy Family Network and asked me if I would be interested in writing for them about living with Cerebral Palsy. Her name is Lisa Viele. 

During the past three years I have learned a lot more about Cerebral Palsy and how everyone's challenges are different; not just the individuals but also their families. I use to always think this kind of life was a "piece of cake" despite the challenges my family and I have endured, but it is not always that way. It is not always as easy as I have been fortunate to have it.

Lisa's daughters' story is a perfect example of this for me. Lizzy is 15 years old. Lizzy cannot speak and is also legally blind. She has seizures. Her mother cares for her 24/7. Remember, I just said that I thought this was easy. When I began to read Lisa's blog and chat with her via Facebook I started to realize that was not the case for everyone. I quickly learned that sometimes it is extremely frustrating trying to figure out what is wrong with your child or to understand what the doctors may be telling you in regards to what is best for your child and their well being. 

I have always bragged on my Mom and what an awesome job she has done over the years regarding my medical decisions growing up. She did the best she could with the information given - just like Lisa has for Lizzy. Today. Today it hit me. It was somewhat easy for my mom and myself because I could tell her when and where I was hurting and what degree of pain I was in. It was not a guessing game for her. She didn't have to hope that medicine worked because I could tell her if it did or not. I am 100% aware of what is going on in the world around me, meaning, the world we all live in and the world of living with physical challenges. I have always known what the doctors were talking about when it came time for surgery and how intense therapy would be. I still know what I need to do to keep myself healthy and am able to fully take care of myself on my own. I will say, this was not a certain milestone for me as my mom was not sure I would be able to do so with certainty until I was in my late teenage and early adult years.

So, today I am thankful and I am humbled to be where I am in my life today. I am so blessed and blessed to have such a sweet connection with Lisa even if only through cyberspace [for now]. I cannot thank her enough for sharing CPFN with me three years ago, and for the friendship that continues to grow. I am thankful to know that it is not always a piece of cake. I am thankful to know it's okay to write about the not so good times. [I always hide those].

Thank you Lisa and Lizzy for humbling me. I love you! May we always find strength in our faith and each other!

You can read more about Lizzy's journey here at: Diving For Healing

Proverbs 20:22,24

I decided to take the blog in a new direction today, to do something different. I have been reading the book of Proverbs [NLT Version]. This morning in my reading these two verses really stuck out to me and I immediately had to share them on social media.

I feel like both verses are something most everyone can relate to at just about any given time.

We have all been wronged by someone and sought to get even with them. I know I have been here. It's a definite struggle. We tend to want to handle things our way, and we learn most of the time that our way is not always best. If we pray and talk to God about something someone has done to us, we need to learn to leave the problem there. He will take care of it for us. Therefore, we needn't worry about it anymore. [Yes, I know, that is easier said than done].

Many times in my reading through Proverbs I have read about God directing our steps or has a better plan for us. I am working on this very thing in my life right now. Trusting where He is leading me and not trying to question or figure it all out. Sometimes, things in our life are not meant to be understood. We just need to sit back and let Him steer for we will not go astray!